Thursday, May 20, 2010

The Bad Boy on the Balcony (a blogfest entry)

Since people are already posting their entries, and since I am kind of lying low on the W.I.P. while I do some planning....

I now present to you my entry in the Bad Boy Blogfest. It is from The Adventure of Anna The Great, a YA swashbuckler.

Setup: The view point character is Anna, a runaway girl disguised as a stableboy. The Marquis is the good and true but stuffy hero. I think you can guess who the bad boy is.


It was at this point that we heard a scream. It was not very loud and it came from above us, in the palace. The two of us moved forward as one, and looked up. A second cry sounded and one of the unlit windows on the second floor burst open.

A human figure swung out and crawled down the wall like a spider, using the decorative moldings as a handhold. As he dropped lightly to the roof of the portico, I realized that the thin, agile figure must be Tybalt. With a quick glance at the window he had just left, he swung off the roof and dropped to the ground, and there he stopped to lean against a column and light a cigarette.

The marquis checked himself before he left the shadow, and put out a hand to stop me, whispering, “what’s he up to?” and glancing with alarm back up at the window. “That’s Claire Linder’s room.”

There was now a light behind that window, but I could see nothing of the inside of the room. Below Tybalt tossed away his cigarette and dashed out into the open, all wild-eyed and in alarm.

“Claire!” he called up at the window. Claire’s silhouette appeared at the window and tentatively she leaned out. “Claire, I thought I heard a scream.”

“Oh, Tyb,” she cried out. “Oh, Tyb, there was a man in here.”

“Where? In...,” he said, in seeming disbelief, pointing up at her.

“In here,” she said, nodding. “In my room.”


“Yes! He...he grabbed me, then ran away when I screamed.”

Tybalt whipped out his sword. “Where did he go?” he cried. “I’ll kill him for you.”

“I don’t know,” she called back, starting to whimper.

“I say,” said Tybalt, lowering his sword. “Are you all right?”

“I think so,” said Claire. “I’m only frightened.”

“Oh, Claire,” said Tybalt, sheathing his sword. He took a step and made a fantastic leap to reach the cornice of the portico, swinging up and climbing the wall as easily as he had come down. Once inside the window, she collapsed into his arms, and they moved out of sight.

The marquis snorted, and I swallowed a chuckle. I did think it was funny. The marquis, however, moved out of the shadow sharply, looking up at the window.

“It’s about time somebody taught that young man some manners,” he said, moving toward the palace.

“Do you think it will do any good?” I asked.

“Probably not,” he said smiling grimly back at me. He moved on again, this time a little less purposefully.


(The Adventure of Anna the Great is available for Amazon Kindle as well as on Smashwords.)


Tina Lynn said...

*snort* That was fan-freaking-tastic! I love this Tybalt. As wily a cat as he was in Romeo and Juliet. Must be the name. Thanks for participating!

Kris n' Kels said...

Neat :) I actually think Tybalt is pretty fun!

<3 Kelsey Leigh

Stephanie Lorée said...

I really enjoyed this! Thanks for sharing. You have serious talent there.

Anonymous said...

Well, that's one way to get a girl. Perhaps the best I've read in a long time.

Love it. Might have to check out the full version. It seems like so much fun to read.

Renae said...

Love this entry, Tybalt...what a great character!

Unknown said...


And yes, I like Tybalt, too! ; )

Raquel Byrnes said...

That was very creative. I like Tybalt already! Can't wait to read more.

Amalia Dillin said...

Hahaha! I didn't see that coming-- I don't think I've ever read anything like that. Awesome!! What a great character!

The Daring Novelist said...

Thank you, everybody! I'm out of town so I wasn't able to get in an approve comments right away - such a nice response to log in to.

Yes, Tybalt is a lot of fun, which is really the main conflict of the book. He really is a bad 'un, too.

stu said...

This seems like great fun, and an intriguing set up.

dolorah said...

What a fantastic ploy. A rogue for sure. And totally fun.


Talei said...

Oh lovely! Cheeky bad boy but very funny. I like your writing style! ;)

Olivia J. Herrell, writing as O.J. Barré said...

Great fun, I like your bad boy! "Would you like me to kill him for you?" I bet he would've, too.

Thanks for sharing! Olivia

Denise Covey said...

Cool characters. Like the laid-back humour too..:)

Dawn Embers said...

Nice work and different approach to how we see the bad boy in the scene. I like how the "stuffy hero" wants to do something but he also seems realistic, in the ending.

roh morgon said...

Ooh - a bad boy in that icky sort of way. Made my skin kinda crawl...

Nice job!

Elizabeth Mueller said...

Wow, interesting reading! LOL, what a naughty boy he is! Thanks for sharing!
Have you had a chance to read my bad boy?
Take care!