Back to the Drawing Board

I have done a lot of good work on this opening, but it is all wrong. And must be thrown out. (Well, not really thrown out, so much as stuck into the compost bin.)

My original concept has the right flow for the story. I broke up that flow for good reasons - mainly trying to find the most attractive first page - but in the end the whole thing had become a dancing bear. The story lurches, rather than glides.

Of course, the original concept needs work too. It needs to be funnier, and perhaps, if it's possible so early in the story, more poignant. Which means that there should be more conflict in the opening scene.